You never really own a cat. You can only make him happy and hope he won’t leave you for someone better like the pizza guy. Here are some morsels of advice.
 
LET THE CAT MAKE THE FIRST MOVE
Don’t come to me and expect me to rejoice. I will come to you on my own terms and in my own time. When I meet a new human I know immediately whether he’s a cat person. If he pets me and suffocates me with hugs, yuck! It’s so over. But if he ignores me or is allergic or terrified, I find him irresistible. Unlike indiscriminate dogs, a cat likes a challenge. Always let the cat make the first move or suffer the consequences.
 
BE POLITE
If I bring you a dead rodent I expect thanks. If you’re not in the mood for a rodent, get in the mood. Appropriate responses: scratching behind my ear, praising me and putting the gift on some sort of pedestal or perhaps in a well-lit china cabinet.
 
DO I LOOK LIKE I NEED A DOG?
I appreciate that you’re thinking of me but seriously, a dog? Why not just throw me in a barrel of drool and roll me in fleas? The dog that licked your face just rinsed down the litter box treats with toilet water. Yummy.
 
LEARN THE LANGUAGE
A faint meow when you’re petting me means “That’s nice; you may continue.” A long, drawn-out meow means ” I’m hungry - deed me or I’ll poop in the bathtub.” A low, throaty meow means ” My litter box is most unpleasant.” A hissing meow is “You idiot, you’re standing on my tail!”
 
14 TO 18 HOURS A DAY OF NAPPING IS NORMAL
I’m not lazy, depressed or narcoleptic. I’m tired. You would be, too, if you had as much on your mind as I do.
Tag :No Tags


Similar Post;


No Comments

No comments yet.

Comments RSS TrackBack Identifier URI

Leave a comment